Throughout my fifty years of ministry I have been asked this question by the believing spouse in a marriage. Other times I wish they had asked for counsel.
First of all, to avoid these situations, as pastors we advise believers not to marry unbelievers. In 2 Cor. 6:14, the Apostle Paul admonishes us to, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” This probably happens too often, and it is not the end of the world when it does. Usually the believing spouse has faith that the unbeliever will eventually come to Christ.
Another scenario may be where one spouse of an unbelieving couple comes to faith and desires their partner find the Lord. Too many times the believing spouse does violence to the relationship by constantly preaching to them and driving a wedge between them and the Lord. Of course, many times this is done ignorantly, not realizing it probably won’t be effective.
Peter deals with this situation in 1 Peter 3:1-2. First of all “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands, so that, if any of them do not believe the WORD, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” And also 1 Peter 3:7, “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect … so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”
When you seemingly have tried everything and it has not worked, then try God’s word and give God a chance to help you reach your unbelieving spouse.
Pastor Jake Stirnemann